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18 row(s) meet your search criteria for September, 2003.
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A Plan for World Peace - September 30, 2003
...at least in our world. Sent to me via email, attributed to Robin Williams.
- The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past and present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those 'good ole boys.' We will never "interfere" again.
- We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.
- All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
- All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
- No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
- The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
- Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
- If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
- Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
- All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
Design is an Iterative Process - September 26, 2003
After looking at the next generation I began to hate it. Something just didn't strike me as interesting or different enough. So I went back to the drawing board and found some new inspiration. I think the result (link removed post-implementation) is much better, and will require little tweeking of the my site generator - at least the blog part of it anyway.
The next task to finish the tweeks on the blog, and rework the other tabs, gallery, features, enterainment, guestbook, and about page.
If you have an opinion, leave me a comment. I'd appreciate the feedback.
Sara Loves Shoes....Already - September 24, 2003
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Here is a picture of the little one trying on Marie's sneakers. She actually walks pretty well with them on!
(click photo to enlarge) There is another in the gallery too.
Garrett gets the Club - September 22, 2003
;)
Today's trip to the Orthopedist for Garrett's arm went ok. He has a fear of the Xray machine, so Marie was required to perform toddler control with a screaming, wriggling 38 pounder. Dr. said there was no dislocation, and probably not broken, but casted him anyway to protect the elbow from any further trauma that might cause a breakage. Two weeks with the cast and then another re-evaluation.
(Click to enlarge Photograph) Hopefully the 95 mph fastball is still lurking in there, just waiting for the MLB scouts to find.
Emergency Room - September 19, 2003
uh oh
Garrett fell off a swing at school today. Normally he bounces pretty well, but apparently, not today. He's not moving his right arm and is generally not happy. Mom put a band-aid on his elbow, but I'm afraid that he may be disappointed in the wild healing powers of Veggie Tale brand band-aids. I did a quick diagnosis and think its more of a bumped elbow than anything else, but the medical training as an Information Systems major in college was limited to identifing alcohol poisoning and not pediatric othropedics so I'll leave the final dispostion to the MD's. Now I get to spend the afternoon at home watch the Girl as Mommy and boy ran off to the hospital.
UPDATE: Back home about 5:30 with a splint and ace bandages up to the shoulder. Not broken, as far as we know now but it was at a minimum a pretty serious contusion, with blood accumulating around the elbow bone causing swelling. Orthopedist wants to see him on Monday for more x-rays as the swelling prevented a good clear x-ray. Gman is pretty happy, except for the immovable arm and the ability to only use the other one. But he does not seem to be in any pain.
Tough kid.
New Site Design - September 19, 2003
A few days ago I lamented about how I wanted a new face for MojoMark.com.
Well, I've started on a plan (link removed post-implementation). Let me know what you think. It's still in progress, and only the weblog has been changed. But I'd appreciate the input.
Fan Dies at PacBell Park - September 18, 2003
From Yahoo Sports:
A fan attending a Giants game fell to his death from the elevated right-field wall at Pacific Bell Park.
Hmmmmmmm - The article didn't say, but do you think alchol may have been involved?
....attempted to climb down the outside of the wall to retrieve something he dropped onto the walkway 24 feet below...
I've been out on that wall overlooking McCovey Cove and it is great people watching place. If your not looking to "score", you are looking for a (Barry Bonds) home run ball to catch. It's a great place to hang out, and watch the *ahem* game.
The World is Not Enough... - September 18, 2003
In some weird way, this struck me as funny.
When the world is not enough for golfers, now there is 
(New store opening soon in Cedar Hills Mall, Beaverton Oregon).
From their website....
Among Golf Galaxy's "hands-on" attractions are the golf simulators that allow players to test their skills on 32 of the world's most famous golf courses.
In addition to pure entertainment value, the store's interactive features enable you to test products before you buy them.
The Misery of a Stranger - September 17, 2003
Sometimes you just get lucky.
At the mid-afternoon sugar drop, a trip to the vending machine shows that is pays to be observant.
My normal chocolate fix, the Nestle Crunch with Caramel bar looked a little odd in the machine. This is one of those machines where each item is contained within a "slinky" like coil where your selection is deposited with a single turn of the coil. While there was inventory in the machine, the front coil looked empty. I realized that using my $.60 would result in a big zero, resulting in an additional deposit and a 120 cent fix.
In my quest, I found that my alternate favorite, the venerable 100 Grand bar, also looked a little odd. However, the difference was fortuitous, as the front one was dangling, and there was another unit in the front coil. JACKPOT - a single 60 cent deposit yielded two servings of chocolatey, caramel, crunchy goodness.
I observed a moment of silence for the poor bastard who got nothing.... and, with apologies to the vending machine gods, gleefully consumed 66 grams of carbs, and 18 grams of fat!
My Karma, I suspect, was disrupted by my fortune.
Thanks Daddy - September 17, 2003
Sara woke up screaming about 10pm last night. Marie was in bed and I (as usual) was goofing off on the computer. Marie called down to ask me to take care of the situation. I ran upstairs, electrified the lamp, and found the girl wailing away standing at the rails of her crib. A quick check found no boogie man in the closet, no monsters under the bed, no missing limbs or sharp objects protruding from her body. Her "Clifford the Big Red Dog" PJ's (in honor of John Ritter's passing - he did the voice in case you didn't know) were still on properly, and her diaper was dry, empty and apparently intact. Only the shrill squeal and the resultant blood from my eardrums indicated that anything was amiss.
I picked her up and held her - the screaming continued. I walked over to the CD player and began to turn that on and the screaming intensified. I grabbed the water cup in her crib and she smacked it from my hands to the ground as she seemed to say "C'mon Daddy - figure it out". I was beginning to feel that maybe it was me - she wanted to Mommy. After all, Daddy is the toy, Mommy is the caregiver. But Daddy CAN be a caregiver, and I will solve the crisis. "I am Man, hear me ROAR (and puurrrrrr when required)."
I opened the blinds to look outside, and the screaming stopped. This has been in my bag of tricks since Garrett was born - take screaming child and distract with interesting subject. After a while we sat in the rocking chair and she leaned back to see the lamp upside-down. Soon she was relaxing with her head on my shoulder. I changed her position to a better sleep inducing one across my lap. She began to relax, and soon sleep. I reveled in my success. But I was soon tormented by my utter lack of planning.
In our house it has become an art to extract a sleeping child from the warmth of your arms, to the cool crib below without waking said infant. Once there, it takes the grace and skill of the Karate Kid move*, and the stealth of a Navy Seal team flying an F-117 to silently lift the crib rails to their upright and locked position. After that comes the challenge of circum-navigating the ever-changing squeeky spots in floor, and proper usage of a sagging door, again without waking a child who seemingly wakes at the sound of a fly farting.
While planning my extraction I saw that my routine would be more difficult than usual. You see, in my haste to rescue the child from her fright, I hadn't lowered the crib rails. I realized that my delicate ballet would require an opening act. I would either have to lower the rail with no-hands while not waking a nearly sleeping child (impossible), or put her back in the crib with the rails up - a descent sure to wake and cause a rerun of the screaming.
I got up from the chair (her eyes opening as she sensed the impending aspect change), and descended her into the crib, lowering the rail in singular display of parental grace. She started to build a head of steam like a locomotive readying for a steep ascent. But in that instant, I sat down in the chair next to the crib and began to rock slowly. She began to calm down, realizing that I was not going to abandon her in a time of apparent need.
For the next several minutes, she struggled to find that perfect sleeping position, at times emitting one of those frustrated moan's or sighs that we all do when sleep does not come easily. Twice in her agitations, she put enough weight on the "Pooh Sings" book cover in her bed (the book has long since been ripped from it's mate) that it broke out in song: "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes". In the silence of the room it seemed as if Metallica was there live, belting out children's classics in their heavy metal style. But she did not seem phased by the sonic intrusion, as if it happened all the time while she slept. I found it ironic that a single squeak from a floor joist while attempting to leave the room will often wake her up, but "Pooh" songs inches from her ear cause no problem.
I sat in the chair for some time, closing my eyes enjoying the stillness of the night, dreaming of extra sleep for myself, and trying to encourage Mr. Sandman to the room. Every once in a while I would turn my head to find a pair of beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. She would then break into a toothy grin as if to say "Thanks Daddy, I feel safe now". I suppose this is how Daddies get wrapped tightly around their little girl's fingers.
After about 20 minutes she was asleep, and with my best Karate Kid pose, I lifted the crib rail back into safe position, closed the blinds and exited the room with superior stealth. She slept the rest of the night.
* Karate Kid Move so-called because of the crib rail release mechanism accessible by foot. When lifting the rail silently, one must simultaneously lift the rail, and use one foot to open the release mechanism
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