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Now for something completely different - November 26, 2003
In a significant departure from the normal crap I put in this blog, I think you should read this. If it doesn't bring a tear (or tears if you're like me) to your eye, then you're not alive.
Happy Thanksgiving, and God bless our Troops stationed around the world, and their loved ones who can't be with them during the Holiday season.
Rhinestone Badass - November 25, 2003
;)
Country singer and Grammy Award winner Glen Campbell was arrested the other night and booked for DUI in Phoenix. He reportedly had a minor car accident, and drove away from the scene. When the police officers confronted him at his home he smelled of alcohol and they took him to Jail. While there he apparently assaulted an officer too.
Just another candidate for the Celebrity Drunk Bus you say? Take a look at his Mug Shot (click on photo to enlarge). That looks like one pissed off Rhinestone Cowboy!
Tough Competitors? - November 24, 2003
I was lazily spinning the channels this weekend and came upon the end of the President's Cup golf match. I believe this thing is like the Ryder Cup, where players from the U.S. play against "Not U.S." players in a variety of golf games (match play, best ball, traditional).
When: Thursday-Sunday (Nov. 20-23)
Where: The Links Course at Fancourt Hotel and Country Club Estate; George, South Africa
Yardage/Par: Par 73; 7,489 yards
Format: Six alternate-shot matches Thursday. Five better-ball matches and five alternate-shot matches Friday. Six better-ball matches Saturday. Twelve singles matches Sunday.
2000 champion: United States
Apparently the result of 4 days of "team" golf ended in a tie, so Tiger Woods and Ernie Els dueled in a head-to-head match play style for three holes. I found the show on the 2nd hole. After they had both par'ed the third hole, it was decided that it was getting too dark to play. So the team captains Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player decided to end it in a draw.
In the huddled mass of players, PGA officials, and media types, Player was talking on the phone to the PGA Tour commissioner indicating their decision, handed the phone to Jack to concur. Jack said that because the US team was the defending champion that "the cup will remain with the US Team." I thought this was a pretty savvy move on Jack's part, indicating that "we own the cup, you didn't win it from us - so we keep it." I guess this is how all of the international cup competitions work. Seems to make sense, so neener neener neener.
At that point, somebody on the "Not U.S." team became upset, and both teams huddled for further discussion. We didn't hear what was said, but the "Not U.S." team said they wanted to come back on Monday and play for the Cup. This is what a group of fierce competitors want - to win, or lose - ties are for sissys (anybody over at the NHL office listening?).
When they cut to the US team, again we didn't clearly hear everything they said, but I heard "I can't" from somebody (I thought it was Tiger), and soon thereafter Jack announced that they would share the cup.
So I guess that the US team thinks competition is important, unless you've got a plane to catch, people to meet, appearances to make, and money to collect.
New Pictures in the Gallery - November 21, 2003
I posted about 30 new pictures over in the Gallery tonight.
Enjoy!
Help for Translating 'Female-ese' - November 20, 2003
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING: This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with "fine."
GO AHEAD: At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
GO AHEAD(with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "nothing" and will end with the word "fine."
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a "Raised eyebrow go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "nothing" and "fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH: A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing."
SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "soft sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's okay" is often used without the word "fine" and in conjunction with a "raised eyebrow."
PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up w/ whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance w/ the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay."
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint! Just say, "You're welcome."
THANKS A LOT: This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "loud sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh" as she will only tell you "nothing."
Movietime - Life of David Gale - November 19, 2003
We watched "The Life of David Gale" last night after putting the kids to bed. I had heard some good things about it, I like Kevin Spacey as an actor ("L.A. Confidential" is a favorite) and was interested in a little mystery. The "girls" at the videostore gushed about it (or were they flirting?), so I was optimistic.
Briefly, the movie is about a college professor and death penalty protester, who is convicted of murdering a co-worker, and sentenced to die for the crime - irony, I guess. He grants a death row interview to an investigative reporter who studies the man's life leading up to the crime, and comes to a conclustion that contradicts the conviction.
I knew the movie had to do with the Death Penalty, and while I am generally a supporter of it in concept, I figured that I might be subjecting myself to a little preaching from the other side. I was not disappointed, but it wasn't over the top so I could follow the story. There were a few twists and turns that I didn't see coming, some others I thought were a little odd (but not distracting), but mostly I found the movie enjoyable. The acting was fine, although I did find myself watching out for Kate Winslet slipping in some of the Queen's English through the American accent, but she did ok. The cliche'd Hollywood ending didn't come, which was a nice surprise, and I found myself and the wife discussing the ending, which usually means the movie was thought provoking and generally good. Although sometimes a discussion afterwards means "what the hell happened?" - not good.
Not top 10 (someday i'll actually put up a list), but recommended at the rental store when there's nothing else to watch.
First Snow - November 19, 2003
A severe weather advisory today, predicting at least an inch of rain just today is in effect. So what do the weather Gods do to us....
It's 36 degrees and Snowing! Yippee !
It's pretty wimpy still, melting when it hits the pavement and only collecting on the grass right now - but pretty to watch. Everyone in the office is giddy, staring through the windows like they've never seen snow before. If it doesn't stop soon, people will be leaving work early using it as an excuse. Regardless, the drive home is going to suck.
Movietime Weekend - Continued - November 17, 2003
Last weekend I picked up a few movies. We never did get to watching "Road to Perdition" last week. Monday and Tuesday nights were filled with other things and it was due back on Wednesday.
But I rented it again on Saturday, and after the little ones were asleep, but before the big ones fell asleep, we managed to finish it. As is the case with most "well reviewed" movies, the pace was a little slow, and the storyline was not completely obvious (leaving some aspects to your imagination), it does get a recommendation from me.
The story is set in the early 30's, during depression and prohibition times in organized crime riddled Chicago-land. Tom Hanks plays Michael Sullivan, the gun wielding "muscle man" working for his "father figure" John Rooney, played by Paul Newman. Sullivan's two sons have a distant relationship with their father, are purposely kept from knowing the aspects of his work. The elder son secretly goes on a ride-along, and witnesses the violence and evil that is inherent to his father's work. When the boy is discovered, we see Sullivan's reaction to the boys loss of innocence as two worlds he has tried to keep separate, collide. When the Rooney's decide that they cannot trust a 12 year old to keep a secret, Sullivan's wife and younger boy are murdered which begins the road-trip with the coming of age boy and a distant father intent on avenging their death.
Marie and I watched the special features on the DVD, in an attempt to get some closure on a few details (which never came). One thing I liked were the deleted scenes. While their inclusion would have had little impact on the movie, I liked how they were not simply deleted scenes, but were an expansion of scenes that were still in the movie. This provided more continuity as you could relate the deleted scenes to the part of the movie they were actually in. Too often deleted scenes are barely detectable as to where that scene fit into the movie - probably why they were cut.
I thought it a good rental, and as usual, I was glad I didn't spend $20 to see it.
My Daughter the Comedian - November 16, 2003
In another preview of the "How to Annoy Your Father" series (still in development), Sara took the stage.
In the midst of changing a rather heinously fouled pull-up diaper, Daddy was verbally entertaining Sara in an effort to keep her hands out of the fouled area.
"All Clean" I said.
"Aw keen" she said.
"Allrighty! Can you say that?"
"That"
Niiiiice. A chip off the old block I suppose.
And then at the conclusion, when putting her pants back on, both legs got caught in one pant leg.
In her best Billy Crystal impression, she wryly calls out "Hello?"
Her first Presidential Election will be in 2020, and with a sarcastic wit already developing at almost 2, I think she'll be more than ready for a correspondent's role on Comedy Central.
Momma Wants a New Car - November 14, 2003
Marie came to me yesterday and said "we need a bigger car."
"That's an odd way to tell me your pregnant" I said.
"Huh?" She was obviously confused by my response.
"Tell me dear, why do we need a bigger car?"
"The kids can touch each other from their carseats."
Ah yes. I remember the days well. Those long car rides with the family, to the Grandfolks houses when my big-sister and I were little. The drive was only 2 hours, but it seemed like a long time then. After about 90 minutes we were out of patience.
touch.
"He/She touched me."
push.
"He/She pushed me again."
poke. shove. slap. hit. scratch. stab. shoot. launch. retaliatory strike. mutual destruction.
Ok, well maybe it didn't go that far. But you get the point - escalating violence.
From the front seat Mom and Dad had there own way of escalation. I'll start practicing now. Always begin with the Nonverbal Queues first
- Subtle reach around with the hand.
- Disapproving glare from the front seat.
Then start with the voice commands:
- "Leave your sister/brother alone!"
- "Settle Down!"
- "Keep your hands to yourself."
- "Don't make me stop this car and come back there." (I only remember stopping a couple of times.)
- "If you guys don't settle down I'm gonna......" (I never knew what would happen)
You gotta love those brother/sister dynamics. This is going to be fun!
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