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6 row(s) meet your search criteria for April , 2004.

Classic Critics - April 21, 2004

I caught the beginning of NPR's Performance Today show this morning, as I was late for work. The first piece was going to be a Vivaldi Concerto (Violin Concerto, RV 177). Host Fred Child introduced the piece saying that several volumes of Vivaldi's work were lost (I think he said about 500 pieces), and only discovered 170 years later - sitting in a library in Turin. Child tells us that when they were discovered, composer Igor Stravinsky apparently didn't enjoy Vivaldi's work. In fact he was quoted as saying that "he didn't write 500 concerto's, he wrote 1 concerto 500 times."

This made me think about what musicians in 150 years might think of music and musicians in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Will the Rap artists in the 23rd century look back and think that Tupac and Nortorious B-I-G were genius? Or will it be looked upon as crap? Will there even be "Rap Artists" in the 23rd Century?

#  | 10:56 AM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: General)

How to Replace Mouse Balls - April 16, 2004

This is described by Snopes (legendary urban legend debunker) "one of the oldest bits of Internet jokelore." Supposedly written by an IBM employee to their field engineer staff. The legend is that it was written "in all seriousness,", but that's probably not likely. Still, it's funny and my Mom (who hides a dirty little sense of humor beneath the prim/proper/demure exterior) sent it to me just today.

Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items. Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

#  | 07:06 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Funnies)

I'm glad THAT's over - April 16, 2004

Finally, the taxman cometh, and he certainly did taketh away..... about an extra $3,400 worth (1,900 fed, 1,500 state). UGH. I had a feeling that the big refund I got last year would not materialize, and that an additional payout would not be a surprise. That's one of the reasons I'd put it off until yesterday.

Late last summer, I divested myself from all my company stock that I had either purchased or received via stock options. With that sale I made a tidy profit, not life altering, but a nice bonus. I figured at that time it would be a nice severance for my impending layoff. Fortunately, the layoff never happened. But the recoil from the sale hit me yesterday.

Most of the profit from the options were included in my ordinary income - so throughout the data entry process, the TurboTax indicator never showed anything other than "Tax Due". But through the "creative writing" process that is my tax return, I had got the "Tax Due" amount down to about $900. That is until I remembered that the Employee Stock Purchase plan shares I sold were not included in my W2. Uh oh. With that addition, the "Tax Due" more than doubled.

After a few minutes considering the effect and inherent risk to more aggressive "creative writing," I decided that it's better to have a profit and pay taxes on it, than to have no profit at all. So Print, Sign, Procure Funds, Stamp & Mail - its over - back to normal life.

But you know, despite writing a check to the feds for $1900, when they ask that question about contributing an additional $3 for the presidential election fund, I can't seem to bring myself to check that box. Who does? Why?

#  | 12:34 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: General)

FDA Warnings re: Alcohol - April 02, 2004

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

  • The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the **** happened to your bra and panties.
  • The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  • The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
  • The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
  • The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  • The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the morning.
  • The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
  • The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.
  • The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.
  • The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
  • The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
  • the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

#  | 12:17 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Funnies)

MLB to Portland - April 02, 2004

The Oregon Stadium Campaign is having a "meet and greet" tonight at 8pm at the West Side Bar and Grill - 8775 SW Canyon Lane (just west of Beaverton). I'm going after getting the kiddies to bed and am looking forward to putting faces and names together. They are also having an auction of baseball related items that should make it even more fun.

I think that we are really in the stretch drive to finish all the required funding to get a stadium financed. While I don't have much hard evidence, that is what I'm lead to believe by reading the usually lively OSC Forums.

#  | 12:06 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Mlb)

Dead Pool Nibble - April 02, 2004

I finally got a nibble on my Dead Pool Roster as Pat Summerall was hospitalized today awaiting a donor organ for a liver transplant.

Broadcaster Pat Summerall was hospitalized in stable condition Friday awaiting a donor organ for a liver transplant.

The 73-year-old former NFL kicker is on the waiting list at St. Luke's Hospital, spokesman Erik Kaldor said. He could not say how long it would take before Summerall receives a transplant.

St. Luke's is owned by the Mayo Clinic, and through Wednesday performed 62 liver transplants this year. Jacksonville has the country's shortest waiting list for liver transplants, Kaldor said.

The veteran broadcaster was flown Thursday by air ambulance to Jacksonville from Fort Worth, Texas, where he had been hospitalized in Methodist Medical Center's intensive case unit since early this week. Summerall is a recovering alcoholic.

It's nice to see that recovering alcholic celebrities seem to always run to the front of the line when a transplant is needed.

I wonder if there are any good microbrews in Jacksonville that we can send to the hospital as part of a "Get Dead Soon" package. I need the points and he'd be eligible for a bonus prize.

#  | 11:46 AM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Webdesign)