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7 row(s) meet your search criteria for June , 2004.

Another Link Out for Laughs - June 29, 2004

In another episode of "I Got Nothin - So Read This - It Made Me Laugh", Defective Yeti tells the story of soothing his new baby boy to sleep, only to discover that an exercise ball's "burst weight of 800 pounds" was somewhat overstated by its Taiwanese manufacturers.

Oh, and I learned a new word too - "mamasecond".

#  | 01:43 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Funnies)

Favorite Jokes - June 28, 2004

Need some light reading? Mark Pilgrim diverted from his normal technology postings (why I stop by) and posted an entry calling for your favorite joke. There are 65 responses, many I'd heard before, but most of them gave me a chuckle.

This was one of my favorites...

#58 - Mahatma Ghandi was an amazingly spiritual man, but physically he was quite a wreck. His penchant for going barefoot led to him having enormously tough feet. His diet, such as it was between hunger strikes, meant he was very thin and frail. It also had the side effect of giving him very bad breath. In fact you could say he was a super-calloused, fragile mystic cursed by halitosis.

Comment by Tom — Thursday, June 24, 2004 @ 8:58 pm

That cracked me up.

You got any favorites you'd like to share?

#  | 02:38 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Webdesign)

Good Online Ad Writers Are Hard To Find - June 24, 2004

One of the sites I frequent daily is a fantasy sports site, Rotowire. I've corresponded with them a few times and they seem like a reasonably intelligent bunch. However, it does appear that there has either been a very poor edit job on an affiliate's ad, or the affiliate built an ad with some questionable material. Here's a screen shot. Check out the little ad on the bottom left.

Free BJ in Ad Show the rest of the story...

#  | 07:44 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Funnies)

O for 1 in the Writer's Market - June 24, 2004

During my writing class last winter, I submitted a piece, "Thanks Daddy" originally written on this blog to the class. The feedback I got was pretty impressive, and was encouraged to submit it for publication. The instructor said it'd be perfect for the "Smithsonian's Back Page". With my ego sufficiently puffed up and visions of grandeur in my head, I worked on it some more and sent it in, noting that their policy was notification in 8-10 weeks.

What were the chances that I would be published in my first try, by a large well-known, well-respected publication (that pays very well BTW)? I scoffed at the notion much like my parents did when I got that Cal Tech recruiting package as a senior in high school. Even my puffed up ego wouldn't let me go there.

So I tried to forget about it, but made a mental note of the date 10 weeks in the future (end of March). In April, when nothing came back, I sent a followup, to make sure they got the submission.

Today, I got my reply:

Thank you for sending your manuscript, "Thanks Daddy," to us for consideration. During our reorganization of the article submission process, we determined that no response was given to your query. We apologize for the delay in responding.

At least they acknowledged that they screwed up.

Your submission has been newly reviewed, and unfortunately we have decided not to pursue it.

Oh well. O for 1. It was expected. The chances were pretty small that it would get published anyway. In theory, now I can send the piece elsewhere, maybe some other publications who may be more in tune with my skill.... yeah. That's it. The Smithsonian obviously can't recognize my talent. I am... I am.... under appreciated.

And still unpublished.

#  | 02:32 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Fyi)

New Car Accessory #1 - June 22, 2004

The new Tahoe came with a towing package. Much to my disappointment, we no longer own anything that needs to be towed (my old WaveRaider toy was sold when it didn't hit a single chili Oregon waterway for two years). So, the hitch was destined to lead a lonely life of non-use.

Propeller Hitch Cover

However, being energized by our sidetrip to our old waterskiing haunt on vacation, I picked out accessory #1 for the Tahoe as my gift for Fathers Day. A three blade spinning propeller hitch cover.

I find it funny that I'm accessorizing a vehicle that will likely be driven by my Loving Wife most of the time. But, as I watch her drive away, or when I follow her somewhere in my car, I can enjoy the propeller spinning away, taking me back to the days when I dreamed of driving my own boat, smoothly accelerating across glassy waterways on sunny hot days, sipping adult beverages, and enjoying the wind in my face.

Did I mention it spins? starting at about 25mph.

#  | 03:29 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: On-The-Town)

Slow Re-Boot - June 21, 2004

After being out of town on a two week family vacation roadtrip, I don't think it is unusual to feel a little out of sorts when returning to the workplace. Our trip, while being a series of long drives through wide open (read: boring) spaces, was good, it was primarily without "real" internet access as Mom doesn't have broadband access - only 28k dial up via AOL. As an 8 hour per day internet technology junky, it felt a little odd to be without it.

Sidebar: I think that if you ever want to be cured of an internet addiction, try 28k dial up via AOL - I had no desire to get on the net after two tries.

With no blogs to read - I didn't have the patience to wait for the pages to load, no access to mojomark.com - neither email nor web page (server crashed within 24 hours of leaving town - DOH!), I was forced to absorb the world the old-fashioned way - mainstream media. Fortunately, the coverage of President Reagan's death dominated the airwaves, so there was little news to be found. While I'm no news junky, I find that I don't have the patience to have the world presented to me in "their" time. I missed MY internet. I missed my blogs, and somehow, I will need to talk Mom into getting DSL if she wants me to come back to her place on vacation again.

So I'm back in work clothes today, with uncomfortable shoes, fluorescent lighting, cubicles as far as the eye can see, a 21 inch monitor and glorious T1 internet access. Thankfully, while I was gone from the working world, there were no blowups, no impending disasters, and as I return to the workplace, nothing "in-process" that I must get immediately working on. There are only 3 newly approved projects on my to-do list, which has allowed a "soft landing" on day 1 back to work. I'm trying to get back up to speed. Really, I am.

But honestly, all I can think about right now is going home early.

#  | 02:22 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: General)

New Car Gets First Taste of Human Blood: Survives Undamaged - June 03, 2004

My cell phone rang while I was in a meeting this morning. My caller ID indicated it was the lovely wife on her cell phone. As I've told her before, I won't ever answer a cell phone call while I'm in a meeting. I think it's rude to the other folks in the meeting and while being told to pick up a pizza for dinner on the way home is important, it can wait. My only exception to this rule, is if she calls me back immediately, indicating some sort of emergency. So I sent her call to voicemail, and quickly got an indication that she left a message. Then it rang again - same number.

uh-oh.

I excused myself, and exited the room. "Hey" I said. In the background I hear wild child screaming and she yells "why don't you answer your friggin' phone?" as she fights back her own tears.

Being the highly sensitive and perceptive guy that I am, I said "I was in a meeting." Getting my wits about me, I added "What's wrong?"

I'll summarize at this point, because like a typical breaking news story, the facts were not exactly communicated in the most clear and coherent mannner.

In a parking lot, Sara left her finger in the door jamb of the car when Marie closed the front door, resulting in a stuck finger and screaming child. Marie opened back door in an effort to release said finger, resulting in further crushing of finger, and heightend intensity of screaming child. In panic, Marie deftly yanks said finger from vice grip of new car, revealing what appeared to Marie at that moment to be a bloody stump of a finger, and, suffice it to say, a generally unhappy little girl. Soon thereafter, kids get back in car, head to the hospital and place panicy phone call to an un-reachable and seemingly uncaring Daddy.

Fast forward two hours as the whole family, uncaring Daddy and all, exiting the emergency room. In our possession; a new plush bunny rabbit, a generous supply of stickers in hand, little girl with a freshly bandaged left hand middle finger (nothing broken, finger intact), and a newfound appreciation for not putting your fingers in the door jamb.

#  | 04:23 PM |  Comments Closed (0)  |  (Tags: Kids)